Nerves
by Mightybooshrocks
Summary: Draco and Harry after the war living there lives. Are they happy and have changes occurred? x
1. Chapter 1

_**Nerves**_

12 hours.

720 minutes.

43200 seconds.

Until my audition, until my life could change forever. I need an A* to get into the university I want. It also meant all the more to me because of how hard I've worked to get here. You see I didn't want to remain in the wizarding world anymore; yes I know it's hard to believe, pure blood Draco Malfoy wanting to live in the muggle world but it had always been my father who altered the way I was perceived in society. After the war I had finally given into my desires due to the fact that I was nearly killed by a flying spell and I succumbed to desire, my desire to have a career in musical theatre. When it got around Hogwarts I guess it hadn't been much of a surprise because of how posh I come across, maybe I appear the artsy type? But my family on the other hand were not pleased. They disowned me but did give me my share of money that was owed to me, but I reclined. I wanted to earn my own living even if it was the harder option, but truthfully if it hadn't have been for one person I might have accepted…Harry Potter my current boyfriend. My current boyfriend who was sitting at an empty table reading a newspaper whilst he waited for me to finish my shift; which was over…right about…now.

"Right come on you…you do know you look peculiar just sat there alone right?"

"Well if someone didn't take so long…" teased Harry as he hastily got up and grabbed my hand to lead me out of the shop; luckily my flat was only around the corner.

"Are you staying over tonight?" I enquired.

"If you want me to"

"Of course I want you to! I always want you to…"

"Ahh sweet Draco…I like it when the sweet version appears! He rarely appears anymore"

"You do realise me and this 'sweet Draco' are the same person right?"

"Woah really?" Mocked Harry as he pulled me into a gentle kiss before I felt his hand swoop into my pocket to pull out my keys; when we had arrived at my flat door was unknown to me.

"Harry…can I go over my audition to you?"

"I thought you said you'd show it to everyone but me because my opinion is void?"

"Well…I love…I mean you're the only one still here because you're a pest…a massive pest…" I would have kept going if not for Harry silencing me with a kiss.

"Yes I know Draco I'm a massive pest"

"I'm glad you agree. But will you see my audition?"

"I'd be honoured baby"

"Thank you Harry…and never call me baby again!"

I walked over to my CD player and inserted my backing track and it felt the same as every time I had shown someone this song but as I turned to see Harry sat cross legged on the sofa with a beaming smile on his face I felt nervous. Not because I thought that I would fail my audition…but because I was afraid of disappointing him. No going back now though, my cue was getting closer and the music wouldn't stop without my interference.

_I don't know why I'm frightened  
>I know my way around here<br>The cardboard trees, the painted seas, the sound here...  
>Yes, a world to rediscover<br>But I 'm not in any hurry  
>And I need a moment<em>

_The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways  
>The atmosphere as thrilling here as always<br>Feel the early morning madness  
>Feel the magic in the making<br>Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye_

_I've spent so many mornings just trying to resist you  
>I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you<br>Missed the fairy tale adventure  
>In this ever spinning playground<br>We were young together_

_I'm coming out of make-up  
>The lights already burning<br>Not long until the cameras will start turning...  
>And the early morning madness<br>And the magic in the making  
>Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye<em>

_I don't want to be alone  
>That's all in the past<br>This world's waited long enough  
>I've come home at last!<em>

_And this time will be bigger  
>And brighter than we knew it<br>So watch me fly, we all know I can do it...  
>Could I stop my hand from shaking?<br>Has there ever been a moment  
>with so much to live for?<em>

_The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways  
>So much to say not just today but always...<br>We'll have early morning madness  
>We'll have magic in the making<br>Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye  
>Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye...<br>We taught the world new ways to dream!_

As I hit the last note I felt tears threaten to fall. The song suited me and I felt on that particular go I had nailed it but…Harry was crying. Tears were streaming down his face as his body was wracked with loud sobs.

Was it that bad?

Was I that much of a disappointment?

"Harry?" I whispered as I ran over to him to hold him in my arms which to my surprise he didn't pull away from!

"Draco…I'm so…so…sorry" I felt him mumble against my neck. Sorry? For what? I pulled away to just stare at his tear stained face with awe to how he had come to the conclusion he needed to apologise for anything.

"Why the hell are you sorry?"

"Because that was the most breathtaking performance I have ever seen! You connected with me on every emotional level but the reason I'm sorry is because…I should have made more of an effort to see you in your last musical; do you realise we have been dating for 9 months and that's the first time I've heard you sing?"

"Harry…I…I love you so much. And you were working it isn't your fault you couldn't come and see me, I never felt any resentment…I understand. And I should probably apologise for not letting you hear me sing more often…it's just I'm scared because I care about your opinion more than anyone's"

There was no more to say so I leant in to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. The kiss deepened as my tongue was allowed access to Harry's mouth which I eagerly took. His lips still amazed me; never chapped, always soft and so, so addictive. The position we were in was awkward as our knees kept hitting together as we were now both sat cross legged. Our arms tried to pull each other closer with every second and I finally found the strength to break the kiss.

"Ohhh no come back" moaned Harry as I stood up.

"Bedroom now. But were not having sex not tonight or I'll be to tried for tomorrow"

"Really no sex? But…"

"No Harry, don't pull that face…we can still cuddle"

"Okay!" exclaimed Harry instantly perking up and running past me to the bedroom. I chuckled to myself as I went to follow him on how he could perk up so quickly? The sight I was met with was beautiful; Harry was laid in bed trying to snuggle deeper into the pillow.

"You do realise that pillow's not me right?" I laughed as I started to strip my clothes.

"I wish it was though! I also wish you didn't take so long folding your clothes!"

"Neatness takes nothing"

"Yes it does… it takes time! Time that could be spent with me cuddling!"

"Okay I'm coming" I chuckled as I climbed into bed only to be engulfed by Harry snuggling into my chest.

"Harry…come on love" I whispered as I laid down so we were facing each other; we were so close our noses and foreheads were touching.

"Love you Draco" muttered Harry as his eye's began to droop.

"I love you to Harry" I whispered capturing his lips in one last kiss before I felt the world fade to black.

Really hope you liked it, I'll continue if I get good reviews… I promise! xx

Inspiration for this story is because I really wanted to write a story that showed pre audition nerves as I have to audition for a musical soon.


	2. The audition The forgetful love

**Alright I didn't need much persuading to continue it to be honest, I just really like writing this story so… :L Right on it goes.**

'Beep, Beep, Beep'

The alarm shockingly seemed even more annoying today than usual. It then dawned on me that it wasn't just me being tired that made me not want to move, not even Harry's warm embrace around me…it was the sinking feeling in my stomach that I was terrified of the consequences of this audition. All I'd ever wanted could be gone with those 6 words "You. Are. All. Free. To. Go." It was stupid really, it's not like if I don't get this then I'll never get it, they'll be other auditions…but I still wanted it.

More than anything.

I finally got the energy to pull myself from Harry's arms who didn't twitch an eyelid at the movement (He was a deeper sleeper than even I was!). Turning off the alarm clock and getting dressed into the outfit I had picked out months ago; smart but casual. I made my way down stairs not daring to eat anything due to two facts.

I'd probably throw it up.

I believed I sang better on an empty stomach.

Glancing at the clock I saw it was 8am…my audition was at 10 and took half an hour to get to. Fuck. I couldn't just sit around here for an hour and a half. I wanted Harry…I needed Harry to be there for me and he had said last night that he was devastated about missing my last show so why should I be worried about waking him up now? Truthfully I knew why, I was scared he'd say I was being silly and to get over myself. I guess somewhere deep down I knew he wouldn't say that but I couldn't deal with any possible chance of an argument today so I did the only thing that seemed rational…I left early. I walked into the cold, polluted air of London and decided to head for a Starbucks I knew was situated around the corner from where my audition was being held; plus I knew a friend of mine that worked there on Wednesday mornings. The tube journey was filled with the bustle of people trying to get to work on time, or people just living their lives but this somehow made me feel worse. It might be stupid but if I didn't get this part I knew I would probably end up like these very people, in a dead end job; or at least that is what it was to me. To anyone else, in this current climate it would be a godsend to get a job and if banking or working in a office was their dream then great, but…mine was so much bigger and I couldn't end up in a dead end job. It would literally kill me, it's the biggest fear I have. With all my day dreaming I nearly missed my stop but luckily, luck must have been on my side! Only a short 5 minute walk and I was waiting in a long queue praying that Pansy would be able to take a break.

"Hi Pansy, You got time for a chat?"

"I suppose so" mocked Pansy as she jumped over the counter.

"You know you could have just used the door thing at the side?"

"Yeah but it's more fun this way" she laughed as we sat down at an empty table.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well you know that audition…"

"Yeah the one today that's in 45 minutes"

"You…you remembered" I asked in awe of how considerate it was for her to have remembered it in so much detail.

"Course I did! I know it means the world to you so why wouldn't I remember?"

"It's just even Harry didn't remember that much! And he has to cope with me going on about it 24/7"

"Well I'm not Harry so that's probably why…"

"Yes I can see your not Harry, thank you very much. God the way you treat me it's a good thing I'm good at singing or I'd never get a job!"

"Just telling the truth" she smiled. Now I love Harry with all my heart but…Pansy is my best friend. If truth be told I probably love her as much as Harry, I can talk to her for hours and not get bored…which is exactly why I'm speed walking to my audition right now. I managed to be left with enough time to take one deep breath before entering the building and walking into a waiting room crammed with about 30 other men.

I had _**No **_chance.

There were varied types of men and they hung around in pacts like they would only stick with their own kind, reminded me of Hogwarts in a way.

The models.

The average's.

The one's you wouldn't think had a chance.

The muscles.

The arty types.

I didn't want to speak to any of them; I felt too nervous to talk but I didn't want to come across arrogant so I started chatting to some of the arty types. I made small talk but I tried to keep it to a minimum; happily the others looked like they wanted exactly the same and it worked out for us. It got to the point that all the artsy types had got called into their audition…actually nearly everyone had got called in apart from this one tall man. I observed him from the other side of the room; he was in fairly good shape, seemed nicely groomed; quite handsome to say the least but I could see a kindness behind his eyes as he was called into his audition. He gave me a polite nod and a fearful yet reassuring smile as he walked in; if I wasn't so scared I probably would have hoped to meet him in person some time but that's isn't my main priority at the moment. I couldn't keep still my hands kept fidgeting with anything they could find but…it came.

"If you'd like to come through Mr…Malfoy!" sang a cheery looking ginger woman.

"Ahh yes thank you…do you get to watch the auditions?" I said trying to make small talk as she seemed like a nice enough woman and truth be told you never know who people are and what their status is within the production, so you should be nice to _**Everyone. **_

"Yes I do actually! You're the first person who's asked me that!"

"Pretty good job no? Bet you've seen some right crackers today!"

"The best job! I love it. There's definitely been some good ones! Pretty good batch today"

"Batch? Oh so that's how it works! Were just like a new batch of cookies that you can throw away when you get bored!" I smiled. And she actually laughed, loud enough for the three 'Judges' to turn around and smile at us.

"You hit the nail on the head! Now break a leg" she whispered in my ear as she squeezed my arm and pushed me up the stage stairs.

I smiled as I walked to centre stage not feeling as nervous as I had previously.

"Hello Mr…Malfoy. I am Carl the director! This is Susan the casting director and finally this is Mark the producer"

"Pleased to meet you! And please since I am on first term names with you feel free to call me Draco if you wish"

"Thank you…Draco. Now if you'd like to start within your own time"

I turned my head and smiled to the pianist giving him a sympathetic look as he quite clearly looked worn out from all the songs he'd probably had to play today.

As I started singing I stared straight ahead as apposed to the 'judges' expressions. I felt nervous, I felt like my voice sounded crap but I had a revelation…this wasn't going to be good because I was thinking about the singing. I wasn't thinking about the emotion that the song held for me, the emotion I felt singing on a Broadway stage despite not have gotten the part yet…probably that I was never going to get the part. This is more than I could have ever hoped for, and I should at least show my passion for musical theatre even if my voice sounded below average. So I stopped thinking and…I listened; listened to the words, the meaning, the emotion and as I sang I felt love but I didn't cry even though my eyes were glistening, it needed to be kept in and poured into the performance and before I knew it my song came to an end. I finally focused my eyesight on the 'judges' Susan had a warm smile on her face but the other two seemed pretty motionless, but I knew I had done the best I could and if it wasn't good enough then…next time I'd try harder.

"Thank you Draco, we'll be in touch"

"Thanks! And luckily I think you don't have any more auditions to see today! You look exhausted!"

"That's probably because we are Draco" I heard Mark chuckle as I walked off the stage into an awaiting hug from the cheery ginger girl…I should probably ask her what her name is.

"Wow that was amazing! Really that was one of the best I've seen today"

"Ha-ha yeah right and you're naturally blonde"

"I am actually" she whispered in my ear as I mocked gasped.

"Wow well then I must have definitely got that part then!" I laughed as we linked arms and walked out of the theatre into the busy streets of London.

"Your gay aren't you?" she said as we stood on some steps.

"Yeah…how did you know?"

"I've got a sixth sense"

"Yeah right" I scoffed nudging her.

"Anyway erm I have to be somewhere now but…here's my number and we should meet up sometime" she said scribbling her number on a piece of paper…with her name on it!

"Yeah that'd be good, see you later" I said as we exchanged a quick hug and went our separate ways. I would have gone to see Pansy but her shift was over and we said we'd catch some dinner later so all I have to do is head back to Harry.

"Harry? I called as I unlocked the door and walked into the living room that was scattered with papers.

"Hello Draco, sorry about the mess but a case came up so…"

"Oh no it's okay" I said but honestly it might have been selfish but I wanted him to have asked about my audition as soon as I had walked in the door.

"Aren't you going to…" but I stopped myself before I asked him to ask me how my audition went because I wanted him to ask because he wanted to.

"Sorry what Draco?" He hadn't even been listening.

"Erm…nothing Harry" I sighed as I walked toward the bedroom to curl up with a book and my mobile beside me just praying for the right call.

It was nearly five o'clock by the time I had finished 6 chapters of my book and played an hour long game of 'Sims 3 ambitions' on my ipod touch with 'Holding on' by Alex Day playing in the background before I thought it would be wise to get ready for my dinner with Pansy. To be honest when I say dinner, I know Pansy and 'dinner' in her speak is a movie with crap-loads of popcorn and sweets. I looked in the mirror and saw a small timeline of photo's from one of those booths that consisted of me and Harry pulling an array of silly faces. I loved him but…he still hadn't mentioned my audition and he'd had plenty of chances to as I had passed his way to make a snack more times than I can remember. It was time for me to bring this up, and there was going to be shouting.

"Harry love, I'm going out with Pansy"

"Okay, see you later!"

"Oh and Harry…haven't you got anything to say to me?"

"Erm…I love you?" ventured Harry. He had been so wrong.

"Harry do you remember why I left so early today?"

"To meet Pansy?"

"Sorry but…you can't be this clueless! Have you got something planned for me?" I said a bit louder and with a hint of excitement as I looked in all the rooms looking for a surprise; truth be told I knew he hadn't but I just wanted this little charade to go on that little bit longer before it dawns on me that my boyfriend forgot about the thing that is most dear to my heart…well actually it was second after Harry…once.

"Draco…why would I have anything planned?"

"MY AUDITION! MY FUCKING AUDITION!" I screamed grabbing my coat. Realization dawned on Harry as he stared up at me from beneath all the papers.

"Shit! Draco I forget I'm so sorry! It's just work and…"

"Work? WORK? Right more important than me…if you had asked I would have not gone to that audition. It would have killed me but I wouldn't have gone. Fuck off Harry" I said calmly as I slammed the door walking toward the elevator ready for a lot of alcohol, a movie and a pep talk from my best friend. As I watched the elevator doors closing I wanted him to run out saying sorry to me again…but he never did.

He let me leave.

_**Might add more chapters because honestly I like writing this story because it comes from the heart. Love you all ;) **_


	3. As the elevator carried on falling

As the elevator carried on falling, I focused my attention on the numbers not wanting to focus on what my heart was feeling.

05

04

03

02

01

Ground

'Ping'

I watched the doors open but made no fast attempt to move until the doors were just about to close on me again. As I walked towards the revolving doors I noticed that the man on the door was Ted, who was the only door man I actually liked. I also hated him because he could read people like books, especially me.

"Hello Draco, are you okay?" Of course he'd bloody ask me that.

"Hey Ted, hmm I will be after quite a significant amount of alcohol. What about you?"

"Aww it's to bad that you feel that way. I'm just preparing myself for quite a long night shift. Will I see you later on?"

"I'm not sure…maybe. Bye Ted"

"See you Draco"

The cold air hit me in the face outside, I'm sure it hadn't been this cold earlier. Anyway I walked down the street not really feeling in the mood for looking where I was going which probably led to me being where I was now; in a puddle, half of me sprawled in a gutter and half across the pavement with a man smirking over me.

"You should watch where you're going" he said extending his hand out for me to take.

"Well maybe you should watch where you're going" I snarled taking his hand and hauling myself up right.

"Your actually trying to blame this on me? Blimey you must really be pissed off with someone"

"Not that it's any of your business…but I am"

"Well then an apology would be great"

"Sorry…" I muttered.

"Much better" he smirked "Your that guy from the audition aren't you?"

"Oh your…right! Well hello"

"Hello, did your audition go good?" Even this fucking guy asks me how my audition went! Fucking Harry.

"I…yes I think it went okay, well for an audition! Yours?"

"Terrible…totally mucked up but oh well"

"Awhh I'm sure it was better than you think! Shit I've got to go but erm…This…Number capiche?" I said quickly scribbling it down on a post it note and thrusting it into his hand because at this rate I was definitely going to miss the movie; running off down the street I heard him shout

"Hope you don't run into any other handsome men on the way!"

"Full of yourself!" I shouted back not turning round to see if he heard and concentrating on not slipping on the wet ground. I saw the cinema coming into view…with a frantic looking Pansy stood outside checking her watch every couple of seconds.

"Pansy…sorry…Harry…Fight…Fell over" I panted trying to catch my breath.

"Ha you fell over! Typical" laughed Pansy; course she would focus on the funniest thing…it's Pansy.

"Yes, yes very funny now let's watch this movie because as my watch says…I'm right on time"

I couldn't concentrate on the movie as couples were scattered around me hugging, kissing or just slightly catching their hand on the others and blushing at the contact. I missed Harry. I just couldn't see how he had forgotten? It really baffled me and I know he wasn't pretending to have forgotten because if he was that good an actor then he should take my job. I want to sort this out and…honestly I really don't think I'd dump him for something this stupid. The thing I will dump him for is not calling, or even trying to remotely grovel; I mean he knows he's done something wrong so why isn't he apologising? I need him to say sorry. I love him but I'm not taking him back just because of that, he needs to prove it.

"Draco what's wrong?" whispered Pansy. I didn't feel like explaining the whole situation after I had gone through it in my head about 1000 times but might as well make it 1001 instead of dwelling on it on my own. By the time I had finished Pansy's expressions had gone from surprised, sympathetic and she was now on her final change…pure death. Before I could stop her she was pushing past me on her way out of the cinema with her bag in hand, I nearly called out to her but something told me she would probably need physically stopping so I ran after to finally find her half way down the street from my apartment…where Harry was.

"Pansy…Please…STOP!" I tried to scream but at how out of breath I had become it came out a merely a loud wheeze. She was nearing the revolving doors and I was in arms reach of her…but my fucking phone went off. I stopped and watched her disappear into the building as I pulled on my phone to see

'Unknown Number'

Who'd be withholding their number this late on a Wednesday night? The audition? I was too scared to be rejected. I can't take that tonight…I'll jump off a bridge. I'll regret it if I don't though so I shakily pressed the 'accept' button.

"Hello?" I said shakily.

"Hello I wish to speak with Mr Malfoy?"

"Speaking"

"Oh hello well Mr Malfoy I was just calling to say that if you still want it…we'd like to offer you the part of Fyero"

"I…yes I definitely still want it…thank you I'll take it" I stammered.

"Excellent! I'll send the details to your agent and we hope to see you soon!"

"Yes thank you again! Goodbye"

"Goodbye"

I must have sounded like an idiot on the phone because I started crying hysterically when she said "We'd like to offer". I don't know what to do now? I can't think…my dreams have all been accomplished. I knew I wanted this part since I was 14, I took singing lessons, dance lessons, learnt to play guitar and piano and learnt Italian, Japanese and French just because I wanted my portfolio to look good. People used to brush off my career when I said what I wanted to be…no one understood apart from the select few of my best friends…and even they weren't 100%. I've worked my arse off since I was 14 and I'm now 30; they say if you work hard it pays off? I never believed it but I wanted to try because being good at one thing isn't enough.

My voice was never bad but it was never spectacular so I took singing lessons.

My dancing was never bad but it wasn't good enough for me so I took dance lessons.

My acting was always my biggest skill but I still wanted to prefect it so I signed up for a theatre group.

I did everything I could because I wanted this more than anything. The biggest question I ever had was…**What if my best wasn't good enough? **

I used to cry at night about it until one day I thought, if my best isn't good enough then I'll make my best better. I told myself I wouldn't give up…and I didn't. And I did it…I fucking did it! I used to be jealous of these people who are born with amazing voices and have never had to work for it but they got the parts but now, I'm glad I worked for it…it made it worth while. I shakily put my phone back into my pocket and decided that Harry wasn't worth being afraid of, I felt like I had the power of ten men and he now longer frightened me because I was going to give him a piece of my mind and if he didn't reply…it's over.

"Hello Draco, you're back early?"

"Can't speak now Ted I need to give Harry a piece of my mind!"

"Okay I'll just put the ambulance of speed dial shall I?" I heard him laugh after me as I decided to take the stairs with my rush of adrenaline taking two steps at a time until I reached my front door.

One

Two

Three

And I thrust the door open to see Pansy and Harry arguing; Harry had a vase in one hand and was aiming it at Pansy whilst she kept on shouting at him.

"Pansy this is none of your business! Now shut up or I will throw this at you!" Harry screamed but I knew Pansy and she wasn't going to give up on defending me.

"Fuck you Harry. Just because you forgot about Draco all together don't…" I heard Pansy shout before the vase was flailing through the air towards her head. I couldn't believe he'd actually done it and I knew he had a perfect pitch from all the quidditch he used to play so I did the one thing I could and pushed Pansy out of the way, as she fell to the ground and half of the vase smashed against my skull. That was going to hurt tomorrow.

"Shit Draco!" I heard Harry scream as he rushed to my side and tried to hold me.

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me. Harry" I said in sharp clips as I shoved him off me and went towards the bedroom to collect my things. At the time I probably wasn't thinking that it was in fact my apartment, but that's what happens when you're angry.

"Draco…I'm sorry please…I lost my temper" I heard Harry sniffle from the doorway as I pushed everything I could find into a rucksack. But his crying made me stop and look at him, I loved this man but I wasn't sure how this would work out in the end.

"You lost your temper? Throwing a vase is more than that love" I said.

"I know…I don't know what happened"

"You want to be with me right?"

"Of course I do Draco…you're the love of my life"

"Well then here's how it's going to work; your going to get anger management while I stay with Pansy"

"Of course but…can't you stay here?" whispered Harry.

"No love…sorry. But one month that's all I promise. Unless you haven't changed of course then…probably more"

"Why don't you just leave me?" Harry said starting to raise his voice again but I wasn't going to fight with him again.

"I want to be with you! Don't try and pin this on me this is your fault."

"Of course…Draco I love you"

"And I you, see you in a month Harry" I said picking up my rucksack before my attention was drawn to the timeline of photo's of me and Harry on the mirror. I went and picked it up before pushing it into Harry's hands as I whispered in his ear.

"Oh and I got the part" before I walked past him into the living room where Pansy was sweeping up the broken vase.

"Draco wait! Can I call you in this month?" Harry shouted.

"I'll…I'll call you Harry" I said giving him a loving smile as I went over to Pansy and pulled her up by the arm before dragging her out of the apartment without any explanation. We were silent in the lift because I think she probably thought I was angry at her, I was but I loved her more for it. Sometimes you have to fight to get better at things and I knew that. This was the second time I was in this lift thinking of how much my heart hurt but this time I knew it would all be alright eventually.

But I also knew this was going to be a very long month.

**Thanks for the great reviews. Plus the next chapter will be a fast overview of the month so they'll hopefully be back together by the end of the chapter ;) The part where he's describing how he felt at 14…I'm 14 and it's exactly what I'm doing. Working for what I want, I'm so scared I won't make it but I'm trying. Everything I said after the phone call was from me, all from the heart :') Love you x**


	4. A month of hardships and decisions

The month of hardship and decisions. 

I awoke in Pansy's flat looking around for what I knew was the final time; me and Harry were finally getting back together. Our little month had started off terribly; worse in fact than our fight…so many thoughts had been gone over in my head

Does he love me?

Why would he forget?

Did I blow it way out of proportion?

Was I in the wrong?

Are we going to work out?

But I think it was healthy to think that because the answer to all those questions was 'I love him regardless and he loves me.' I found out that no matter what I love Harry and I wanted to be with him…again despite Pansy's interfering ways I was going to make this work…_we_ were going to make this work. As I packed up my clothes into my rucksack and took one last look around the walls of deadly shaded pinks that covered the flat I felt thankful that Pansy was on her shift because god it would be difficult to say goodbye to her if it was this hard to say goodbye to a bloody flat. Walking down the street to my flat I spotted the gutter that I had fallen into when that man had run into me…okay, okay it might have been my fault but anyway since then I had worked out who he was, well quite well actually; we'd met up for coffee once because it turned out his audition hadn't gone that shit…as he was now my understudy!

His name was Dorian.

Acting and musical theatre was his life.

He played guitar and busked with his own songs and covers.

Oh and when he was younger he wanted to be a helicopter…still not sure how that had come up in conversation. He was lovely, we could definitely be friends and I'd get to see him again at our first rehearsal tomorrow.

"Hi Ted"

"Draco! Your back! Finally! Month over?

"Yep over and done, you've got me back! Lucky you eh?"

"Oh lucky doesn't even cover it"

"Yeah like that wasn't sarcastic! Anyway I've got to go see Harry"

"Oh Draco…it really is good to have you back…I shouldn't have favourites but you're my favourite in this building"

"Ah thanks Ted, means a lot, I'll see you later" I said walking away as I made for the elevator, god this felt strange haven't been in here for a month! I mean me and Harry had met up for coffee and talked on the phone but it just wasn't the same as being with him in our flat, in our space, just being content with each other as we lay together that couldn't be re made in a 2hour coffee date. Here it goes…

"Harry…?" Before I had even got the door fully opened I was nearly knocked over by Harry running to me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

"I've missed you so much love" he whispered in my ear as he pulled me even closer to him.

"Oh Harry" I whispered dropping my bags and wrapping my arms around him with the same force that was being applied to me. I knew this was the right decision being back here with Harry, that was the last time I'd be leaving him…ever.

"Harry…you might actually have to let me breath at some point"

"Eugh is breathing really necessary" groaned Harry freeing me of his iron grip.

"I'm afraid so love" I laughed picking up my bags and throwing them in the direction of the bedroom, I would have just gone and put them in there but Harry had already got hold of my hand and was pulling me back into him.

"Come on lets sit down" he whispered in my ear pulling me to sit with him curled up on the couch.

"God I've missed this Harry…I've missed you"

"Draco, this month has been the…" whispered Harry stuttering over his words as he got closer and closer to tears,

"Sh, I know, apart from that how was the month? No need to dwell on it"

"It was…adequate I guess, I met up with Ron and Hermione numerous times and got far to much work done with all the free time I had"

"Wow, yeah sounds super"

"Yeah whatever, if my month sounded so boring how was yours then?"

"Well I spent time going over my lines"

*Cough* "boring" *Cough*

"Harry no! Well I also…met up with some friends"

"No more interesting than me meeting up with Ron and Hermione then?"

"Wait no and…and…and…I…Fine mine was just as terrible as yours"

"Thank you for admitting that Draco" mocked Harry; this was exactly what I had wanted back, our playful fights, our little kisses, our sex life…that reminds me! I really had missed that I thought as I turned round in Harry's arms so I could have better access to his lips…closer…closer…closer and our lips met…_fireworks. _I had missed the feel of him against me, it was heaven. I deepened the kiss and nervously brushed my tongue across his lips (I don't know why I felt so nervous it was just because I had been away so long) but Harry parted his lips and our tongues met…_erm even more fireworks than last time? _I pushed him down onto the sofa so I was straddling his body and started to un-button his shirt kissing along his neck

"Dray" groaned Harry as I accidentally pushed against his groin with my arms as I rid him of his shirt…well I say accidentally…

"Please more Dray"

"What do you want Harry?" I whispered in his ear as I rid myself of my own shirt.

"I…god Dray please…fuck me"

"As you wish" I said kissing down his chest and removing his jeans and boxers at a speed that could be considered a teasing pace but Harry got frustrated with me and sat up pulling off his jeans and boxers and doing the same to me with no teasing involved before he started to devour my mouth again.

"Harry…please"

"What not in the mood for teasing anymore?"

"Harry…Eugh" Harry was now stroking me making it all the harder to try and retaliate, suddenly Harry pulled out a condom and some lube.

"No more teasing Draco, I think we've both waited long enough don't you?" I was to far gone to do anymore than nod at this point, Harry was just about to lube up his fingers but that wasn't what I wanted.

"No, Harry no preparation please"

"You sure Draco?"

"Please Harry?" I whimpered before sitting up and capturing his lips in another kiss before I felt his penis against my entrance, he slowly pushed in swallowing my moans with his mouth as his pushed in deeper and deeper until he was fully in.

"Harry…move…please" Harry slowly moved out before slamming back in, we built up a steady rhythm with me replicating every thrust of pleasure he gave me but as soon as he hit my prostate that rhythm was demolished and our thrusts became frantic and desperate; I knew we were both getting close. With _one, two three_ thrusts I felt my stomach muscles clench and I screamed out Harry's name as I finally released one month of sexual frustration, my orgasm must have cause Harry to lose control as I felt him biting into my shoulder trying to muffle his cries of pleasure.

In this moment everything was perfect.

In this moment I was beyond.

In this moment I probably was to happy for what was to come.

It would never stay this way.

**So sorry for anyone that's been following this story, I've been so busy with gcse's and the only reason I've had enough time to continue this is because I've been ill with tonsillitis. But I promise I'll update much more regularly from now on *pinky promise* and in the next chapter something bigs coming ;) Love you all xxx**


	5. The dinner that led to mistakes

I awoke to the sunlight blazing through the curtains and I made a move to get up, only to be held down by a tanned arm…_tanned arm? _Harry. I suddenly recalled last night and a smile spread across my face as more and more memories and…sensations returned to me. I turned over slowly trying not to wake Harry, only to be faced with his sleeping face; god how I've missed him. I lent down to slowly kiss along his jaw line as he slowly awakened and his sleep clouded eyes started to focus; only then did he smile as he saw me smiling back at him.

"Mornin" he mumbled pulling me by the chin to chastely kiss him.

"Morning Harry" I smiled "What time is it love?" Harry lent over to check his ipod…actually it may have been my ipod but that didn't matter.

"Mmm 9'o clock"

"I have to leave at eleven"

"What why?" enquired Harry sitting up and leaning over me.

"Because I have rehearsal"

"What? No, can't you just stay?"

"Sorry babes, I have to work just like you"

"Yeah…you're right but…I'll miss you" he said leaning down for yet another kiss.

"Mmm…miss you to…Mmm….I'll really miss these…kisses as well"

-X-

The next time I awoke I knew that it was later but I was trying to stall from looking at the actual time; I sucked it up and reached for my ipod to be greeted with those big round numbers that just spelt L.A.T.E…10:55. Crap. I jumped up this time not caring that I woke Harry up and rushed into the bathroom to get dressed only to remember that I never unpacked so I just took the smallest and most leisurely clothes Harry owned and threw them on…they weren't to bad…if you dismiss how short and baggy they are on me. I quickly run a brush through my hair (it's times like these I'm glad I don't have Harry's mop) and quickly washed my face to make sure I had silky smooth skin to then run out into the living room to be greeted with quite an annoyed looking Harry.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you"

"It's okay Dray, next time though, some warning before you pull me off the sofa with you as you rush off!"

"Shit…I pulled you off the sofa…sorry…again!"

"Its okay" laughed Harry "Go on, I assume you're late?"

"You were always smarter than me" I said sarcastically accompanied by a roll of the eyes before I quickly kissed his cheek, picked up my back and literally ran out of the building ( Ted hadn't been on duty this morning thank god or I would have definitely missed the tube!) I just got it before it set off and I flopped down in my chair; all in all I was only going to be…30 minutes late, not _so _bad. Or at least that's what I was telling myself. The tube came to a halt and I pushed past people just muttering apologies in any direction so that I didn't offend anyone as I ran out into the sunlight and towards the theatre.

"Your late" were the first words that greeted me from Dorian as he smugly smiled at me from the stone steps outside the theatre.

"Oh shut up" I said throwing my bag at him "How the hell do you look so smug whilst eating an apple?"

"Ahh years of practice dray, years of practice"

"So…how angry is Steve (Director)"

"Ahh well that depends on how quickly you stop talking to me and run in there" wise advise from Dorian. I ran quickly through the doors and onto the stage. The same words greeted me again…what happened to a simple Hello?

"You're late"

"Yes I know, I apologise"

"Any particular reason for holding us up for…25minutes?" 25 minutes! Well that's 5 minutes less then what I had estimated…somehow I didn't think those were the right words to use though.

"I overslept, I got back with Harry you see and…"

"Alright enough with your personal life" laughed Steve "Just don't make it a habit"

"Of course, what scene are we on?"

"One that you're not in, so get off this stage!" I didn't reply as I quickly ran off and sadly towards Dorian's even smugger face (He was _definitely _going to ask about Harry…great).

"Harry back then?"

"Don't you dare start"

"What…me? I'm just asking a question!"

"Yes you, you know exactly what you're doing"

"Fine yes I do. Now give me the details!" he squealed. He could be such a girl sometimes.

"Not much, it was like I'd never left…oh and we had sex"

"So that's why you're late!"

"What I never said this morning how did you…"

"I'm secretly Sherlock" he leant over to whisper in my ear.

"Ahh would explain a lot."

The day, all in all was quite mundane. We went over lines; I ended up arranging yet another coffee date with Dorian…I mean date in the least cheating way possible! And it all went smoothly. I was looking forward to tomorrow, yes a 6am start but I'd get to practice some of the songs and let's just say I was looking forward to it.

"You wanna grab something to eat Dray?" asked Dorian as we made our way out of the theatre.

"I don't know, I sort of wanted to get home…"

"Ahh get home to lover boy, well I'll tease you tomor…oh sorry I mean I'll _see _you tomorrow"

"Eugh right if I grab something to eat will you _promise _not to tease me again"

"Well not ever again but for tomorrow…yes"

"Fine, come on" I said grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the nearest food place I could remember…McDonalds; yeah I know class isn't always my thing. I stood outside the door and proceeded to enter but was halted by my realisation that Dorian was just stood there staring up at the big yellow M.

"Dorian?" I enquired waving my hand in front of his face.

"You can't expect me to eat here?"

"Oh sorry queen of Sheba it's the first place I could think of"

"Come on I'm taking you for _good _food" said Dorian grabbing my hand and leading me back in…the direction we had came! Eugh.

"McDonalds in good food" I mumbled under my breath as he stopped in front of a posh looking reastaurant.

"That's a bit…posh isn't it?"

"Yes but you deserve the nicest food my dear"

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say but you're paying!"

"Fine as long as you _never _take me to a McDonalds again!"

"Deal" I laughed walking inside with Dorian actually following me this time.

The food was good but I don't think I'll be giving up McDonalds cheeseburgers just yet. The evening was nice, I mean Dorian was quickly becoming one of my closest friends; he was

Funny

Smart

Witty

Teasing…that wasn't meant to be in the pro's list but I think it's annoying enough to make it into any list that describes Dorian. We walked out of the restaurant and I must have definitely lost track of time as it would have been pitch black if not for the street lights illuminating the street with there warm glow.

"Right, well now I really have to be off" I said stalling just to say a quick goodbye.

"Okay, well no teasing for Draco tomorrow"

"Thank god! But on the downside I've just had to sit through a whole evening of it!"

"There's always a downside Draco"

"That there is"

"Oh Draco you have sauce…next to your mouth" said Dorian gesturing to my face. I tried to rub off the offending substance but I kept on missing and Dorian kept on laughing.

"Right if _you _think it's so easy _you _wipe it off" I snarled and I watched him bring his thumb up to my face and start rubbing away…the sauce had been only about a centimetre away from where I was rubbing! He rubbed for a long time and I finally brought my gaze to his and we stared into each other eyes.

"I think it's all gone now" he whispered but made no move to move his hand.

"Yeah…" I whispered but made no move to remove his hand. I don't know how long we stayed like that until he moved closer; stood on his tip toes and kissed me slowly on the mouth. It was gentle and sweet and held an awful lot of feeling for a first kiss but something felt wrong about it…something wasn't right…_Harry. _I pulled away my face covered in disgust for him initiating the kiss and self loathing for me reciprocating the kiss. I had fucked up. I started walking off back towards the tube station not listening to the shouts from Dorian; all I was thinking was _Harry. _

**Been a while again…BUT not as long as last time…I think. I hope you like it and I think I'm going to be drawing it to a close soon. Thank you so much for reading, it's means so much to me :') Oh and SO SO sorry for it being in complete, every time I went to update I'd forget, changed it now though Xx**


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